Recoil!
How do you live with yourself?
You don’t.
They do.
Do you sing “I Dreamt I Met a Galilean” in the shower?
(Guilty.)
Do you see the mole on your back?
(No.)
Do you say “uh” three times per sentence,
All day every day,
The en-ti-re
Sixteen years they’ve lived with you?
(Guilty.)
Sixteen years, and what do they get?
Do you sing “Sixteen Tons” in the shower?
(Guilty.)
Do you sing “Brown Eyed Girl” in the shower?
Do you see your long dark hair in the shower drain?
(Yes.)
All day, all year?
(Guilty.)
Do you cry in the shower?
Are you an unreasonable crier?
Do you sing “Cryin'” by Aero-frickin-smith in the shower?
(As charged.)
Do you know how MANY times you told this story already?
You bake shitty things and throw them out.
You drive stupid.
You have age spots.
(Guilty.)
You think you are so smart.
Go.
Go.
Go do a silent retreat or something already.

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